Tonight, try to be human.
go to sleep early,
infact, fall asleep on the couch and
dream a beautiful dream
allow yourself to believe in that world in your fantasy.
in the morning
wake up long after the sun has risen
dont do that thing where you want to gather yourself before the day begins.
just do human
dont over think any thing
you will get tired before your day has actually begun.
maybe try to speak to your neighbour about the weather or something ordinary
try not to sound so serious about life.
make a stupid joke and laugh at it like your life depended on it.
and dont feel like an idiot afterwards.
just try to be normal.
dont return the gaze when someone stares at you in the lift.
smile awkwardly, as expected, and say hello.
dont ask them why they are here, or if they achieved their goal for the day
they will give you that “that weird girl who is obsessed with whatever it is that is driving her crazy” look
just smile back awkwardly after they say hello back
and do the ritualistic stare at the cieling of the elevator until it gets to your floor.
do not leave them wondering with your usual cynical existentialistic comments about life
just say ” okay bye”.
and go do human again
go be normal again.